Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Everyone Should Get into Yoga!

I love the way Yoga Studios advertise themselves as an all welcoming, all inviting environment where everyone is invited to get in touch with their bodies, breathe, stretch, relax and find healthy living. But really, the only people who are invited to tap into their "inner structure" are people who can easily afford $120 monthly membership fees.

The majority of Yoga studios in New York offer one time drop-in classes between the range of $16-$23 dollars while monthly or 30 day memberships are anywhere between $110-$140, (the same rate as the most expensive gyms in NYC) WTF right?! The only thing getting stretched here is your dollar.

Now don't get me wrong. I love yoga. I eat that breathe-stretch-release shit up with a spoon. I would love to practice yoga several times a week but these city rates are absolutely ludicrous! When I lived in Tucson, Arizona I was heavily involved in Bikram Yoga (90 minutes of intensive stretching inside a 105 degree room!) I would do it at least 3 or 4 times a week and my life, my ability to find peace, discipline, patience all improved while my whole being and energy level was shooting through the sky. I was ecstatic to simply be alive. This newfound joy was directly correlated to my involvement in yoga. In fact, I got so heady and self-spiritual I stopped wearing shoes and every time I talked to my family they were convinced I had become an ecstasy addict. When my friends were frustrated, pent-up or angry I would simply lay my hand on their shoulder and remind them to breathe. Needless to say I got a lot of eye-rolls and fuck you's.

I would love to find this healthy person again. God knows I've got a lot to vent and "release" but I simply cannot afford these rates. Yeah, there's always gym-yoga but that's not the same, you don't get the same attention from the instructors and it's more yoga-express than it is yoga-yoga. Besides, who can focus on their form and breathing when you hear weights clanking in the background and have that nudging fear that someone is staring at you bent over in an awkward position? There's no sanctuary there! It's god-damn New York Sports Club and they're playing that lame Jessica Simpson remix...again!

There are places in NYC that offer donation only classes, like Yoga to the People in the East Village. That means you pay what you can or a small amount each time and you get a full class from it. The only problem is the classes are packed to the walls with everyone like me and a nauseating amount of NYU students. So, what do I do? You tell me. Because while I can't afford your upper-middle class studios my back isn't getting any better! Tell that to the goddess!


gold star said...

Amen. NYC has ruined yoga for me, what with all the anorexic bitches demanding more "power yoga classes," clogging up the studios and making prices skyrocket. How can you relax after having to fork over $35 for an hour long drop-in? So I've stopped going. And my ass has flattened and I've nearly developed a humpback.

Namaste, bitches.

Anonymous said...

Date a Yoga instructor and move in a cabin in the woods upstate. Yoga-Bear ;)

Anonymous said...

I'm sure yoga is very beneficial but I just don't want to hear about its transformative properties from every evangelical convert in the sauna afterwards. Dude, I came in here to sweat and ogle hot (literally) men, and your stream of yoga-adoration is seriously ruining my cruise.

The yoga instructor at my old gym actually threatened me when I went into the class space to get a crunchball. Namaste!