Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Carrie Underwood loves Jesus and Vandalism!

American Idol Winner, Carrie Underwood, hits the radio lately with her latest smash single, "Before he Cheats," a woman's ode and vendetta to a cheating boyfriend. Except unlike her last hit, "Jesus take the Wheel," this song is less about religious inspiration/faith and more about inciting violence and vandalism against one who wrongs you. Take a look at the lyrics- it seems as though after letting Jesus take the wheel Mrs. Underwood was steered right into the hands of the devil.
Here's a tip, chick- take a deep breath, realize you're a better person and move on. What's with all the baseball bat smashing and keying one's car? Not very Jesus of you, is it?
Unless you've rationalized this somehow with dollar signs and pop-media attention, all of which I'm sure Jesus supremely approves of... (get a clue, dipshit.)

lyrics of chorus:
Right now he's probably slow dancing with a bleach blonde tramp,
and she's probably getting frisky...
right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can't shoot whiskey...
Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick, showing her how to shoot a combo...
And he don't know...
That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats...
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.



2 comments:

Rachel said...

Hi E-
Sadly, I am very familiar with this song since it's been playing in TX for almost a year now. Thanks for clearing up some of the lyrics for me since apparently I was singing some wrong "carved my name into his leather seats" NOT "into his legacy"...at least I didn't think it was oooh crayfish...(I hope you get that)
But I don't think Underpants is singing about herself...so I'm not sure the criticism applies. Also, in Jesus Takes The Wheel the chick is an unwed mother who doesn't pray. So I think Underpants isn't as self-rightious as you think.

Also, maybe you want to take a break from the bacon cheeseburgers...your arteries will thank you. Maybe find out who makes the best grilled chicken in the city?????

Robguy said...

I always thought letting Jesus take the wheel was a sure-fire way of ending up with your car in the ditch.