Thursday, April 16, 2009

Sometimes Dreams Come True

He's been *somewhat* of a running joke on this blog since I've reported about him time and time again but this last mention takes the cake:Yup, the rumor that I helped circulate last summer has come true. Billy Mays, the man whose voice makes you change the channel yet whose straight oblivious bearliciousness makes me weak in the knees, is getting his own reality show!

Oh Billy, congrats!

The show is called Pitchmen and follows Mr. Mays as he does what he does best: Make infomercials about cleaning supplies. Look, if Groomer Has It (the show about America's Best Dog Groomer) can be a show then Billy is entitled to have his shot at it too. Plus, if you watch his youtube videos here and here. You can tell that the guy is fun and has a good sense of humor (unless he turns out to be some right wing Christianist which wouldn't surprise me but would cause me to reneg every fantasy nice thing I've said about the guy.

Anyway:

The nation's preeminent pitchman for hire, the 50-year-old Mays is the emphatically gesticulating star of nine commercials for nine products, now in heavy rotation. And he's just getting started. A handful of new shoots will commence as soon he's back on his feet, and big-league advertisers like Pepsi have started calling, presumably to put his unironic style to some irony-intensive use. Plus, he recently moved into health insurance, as spokesman for a company called http://icanbenefit.com.

But wait. There's more.

In the fall, Mays will start taping a TV reality show, "Pitchmen," which will follow the creation of a two-minute commercial, from start to finish. But with many of his ads appearing 400 times a week, often at two minutes a pop, Mays could already be the single most ubiquitous figure on television today, measured purely in face time. His only competition comes from actors in perpetual syndication, like Seinfeld and Bart Simpson.

Now, don't get me wrong. Billy Mays is as annoying to me as he is to everybody else, but come on- you're telling me if you ran into him on the roof deck of The Eagle, shirtless bearded with a beer in his hand, on some hazey summer night and he told you he was from Maine and worked in Cleaning Supply Distribution you wouldn't go home with him?

Yeah, sure you wouldn't...

9 comments:

Dave in Oz said...

I'd go home with him in a heartbeat - it'd be a challenge to turn that straight boy around into something we'd ALL enjoy.......

Aegletes said...

"shirtless bearded with a beer in his hand" Stop! The mental image alone is too much to handle while I'm at work. Woof! Now if he'd just shut up he'd be perfect.

David said...

I dunno, I'm not that much of a knee-jerk bear aficionado. Doesn't mean I look down on it, it just doesn't automatically set me off. Why would the beer in his hand be important to the fantasy? If he had a water bottle instead, would that be a turn-off? Just curious.

mail said...

He is not my type at all.

RG said...

I've always thought he was hot. Maybe we can get him to be a pitchman for condoms and lube?

ken said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ken said...

but come on- you're telling me if you ran into him on the roof deck of The Eagle, shirtless bearded with a beer in his hand, on some hazey summer night and he told you he was from Maine and worked in Cleaning Supply Distribution you wouldn't go home with him?

yeah, that's EXACTLY what i'm telling you...

ryan charisma said...

nah. not into him at all.

Blogger said...

Which is better Coke or Pepsi?
SUBMIT YOUR ANSWER and you could win a prepaid VISA gift card!